Or, you can just let me keep them here because you love me. :)
WARNING: I rant here. If some of it is offensive to you, PLEASE simply unfollow me. Thank you.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

:( Again.

Hey, everyone. Today is my mother's tenth anniversary[of death]. It was so depressing today. I cried this morning as soon as I got to school. I couldn't help it. My best friend Jasmine came up to me and we were chatting for a while. Then, I can't really remember what happened, but I told her about what the date Febuary second really means for me. And she said in this super sad voice, "Oh, Jodie..." And then she gave me a big hug and I was crying while we were hugging. And she was rubbing my back in a really soothing way and let me cry for the longest time. Then, I pulled away and one of my friends, Elena came up to me and asked what was wrong.
She knows that my mom passed away because she visited my blog and where it says "Since you're here, why not get to know me?", it says at the end "R.I.P., mommy I love you ❤"
So, she knew. She asked me why I was crying and I told her and she got all sad and hugged me for a really long time.
The entire day, I was depressed. It only made it worst when people asked if I was okay. Because then, I was reminded that people actually cared and I got touched by that. I was so happy that I had subjects today where I usually don't talk to the people in them. Just Felicia and another good friend of mine, Ceisha. And Jasmine in only one of my classes today. And that was it.
This other girl named Bipreet acted really dumb today. I have to say. She's sort of a friend but not really. It's hard to explain. So, anyways, I was crying in the morning with Jasmine and Elena so my eyes were all red. I went to the bathroom to blow my nose with Jasmine and Bipreet was there along with a really nice friend of mine, Anisah. I felt like running back out. But, i didn't and blew my nose.
Bipreet looked at me and asked, "You look like you're about to cry."
I just ignored her and threw away my paper. Obviously I cried BEFORE. My eyes aren't red because I'm high. I don't do drugs and I never will. I just thought she was acting really stupid. Even Anisah figured out something was wrong, because she said gently, "Aw, Jodie, what's wrong?"
I said, "I don't want to talk about it."
She said, "Okay, well, whenever you do you can talk to me. Feel better, okay?"
I nodded and left with Jasmine. She seemed more pissed at Bipreet than I was. It amused me.
I missed last period today to talk with Ms. T(I talked about her before on this blog.). I know her job title now. SPECIAL EDUCATION TECHNICIAN. That's what it is! :D So, yeah, after I talked with her about my mom and everything, it cheered me up a lot. So, if you're reading this, Ms. T., thank you so much. :)
Also, she showed me my grades. I got an 88%(89%?) in math! And I failed last term! Last term, I got a 49%!!! Can you believe it?! I went up from a fail to A LOT more than a pass!!
So, yay me! That improved my day. It still sucks though, because on Friday it's her birthday. Can you believe that? If she would have lived for just TWO more days, she would have seen her birthday.

11 run-on sentences.:

Anonymous said...

:( I think the worst part is thinking those kind of things like "it would be her birthday today" or "this was her favorite..". It gets really painful.

I'm really sorry for all of that though. I didn't know her obviously, but I'm sure she's in a better place, and she's always with you. I know that doesn't always help to hear that, but even after death loved ones always live through you.

On a happier note, congrats on your math mark. I would've never been able to achieve that, I'm impressed

Jodie-Ann said...

Yes, that is the worst part. ;( Thank you. it helps to know that people actually care.
And thanks! :) That cheered me up.

coolblogger said...

i am so sorry to hear that Jodie. For sure she is proud of you and watching and blessing you every moment. May her soul rest in peace.

Jodie-Ann said...

Thank you so much :)

iZaynab said...

Sorry for your loss Jodie :(
I'm happy the people around you cared & :P Don't worry about her being stupid. Cause Karma will come around to get her back~

& :D Congratz on your Match grade *High 5*
Mines went up -somewhat- too~

Kaleena J. said...

:( I'm sorry. At least you have a good friend to be there for you! I'm sorry again... :(


ishashime said...

i'm really sorry about your mom. but like everyone has already said, i'm sure she's in a better place now and is always watching over you. :)

congrats on your math grade! i see you've improved a lot since last term. keep it up! :D

Adrian Paul said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Jodie! Staying positive. I'm glad your day got a little bit better. Your a strong person!

Furree Katt said...

you're such a strong girl, Jodie! i'm so sorry for your loss. i'm sure your mum is proud of you and is watching over you. ♥

congratulations on the math mark, i'm terrible at math and i don't think i could ever get as high as that :O

FeliciaShortii said...

I'm sorry. I love you and you know I'm here for you and I'm always there to help. Everythings going to be alright. Cause your moms watching over you and she loves you and is keeping you safe. Your strong and perfect. Love you Jodie-Ann

Jodie-Ann said...

@iZaynab: Thank you. And yes, Karma will probably get her back. And yes! Thank you! *high fives* And congrats to you too. :)
@Kaleena J.: Thank you *hugs back*
@ishashime: Yes, I hope so. :) And thank you!
@Adrian Paul: Thank you :)
@Furree Katt: Thank you :) And yes, you can some day! Just try really hard like me! Who knows, maybe something good will come of it.
@Fee: Thank you, Fee. I love you too :)

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