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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What IS Love? *Guest Post By Ashley*

What IS Love?

Ashley, the lovely author of this absolute awesomeness. :)
A question I hear a lot is "what is love?". Different people have different meanings for it. Some think it's a pure, strong feeling of affection for another, some think it lasts forever, some think it equals sex.

I think love has many different forms. Love doesn't necessarily have to be for a significant other. Although, if your other is significant then I hope you love them. You can have love for your family, your friends, your pets, your job, your hobbies. The point is, love is about caring for someone/thing.

There's a saying, "no man is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry". Some say that love isn't supposed to hurt. But it can, and that fact doesn't mean it's not love. Sometimes that pain can lead to more pain, sometimes it can help lead the way to a better, happier life. No love lost, no love found, right?

Love is not a tool for manipulation. Many people try to use someone's love for them as a way of getting things. If someone loves you, don't take advantage of that. It's unfair to force someone into doing something with "you'd do it if you LOVED me...".

Some people think that love is about putting the one you love before yourself. I guess that can be true, but you shouldn't overdo it. It's not smart to always think about the other's happiness before your own, and I say this from experience. Yes, you should always consider the other's happiness and welfare, but don't try too hard to make them happy at the expense of your own happiness. A good relationship needs happiness on both sides, and if you're throwing yours aside to make someone happy, then there's a problem.

SEX IS NOT LOVE. Having sex with someone does not mean you love them. Your love for someone may lead to sex, but don't jump to the conclusion that you're in love with someone because you've had sex with them.

It is possible to love more than one person at a time. One person may make you feel special in one way, and another person could make you feel special in another way. You might love one in one particular way, and love the other in a different way. This can obviously apply to family and friends, but also romantically.

Love can come and go. Sometimes it leaves a big, painful emotional scar on you, other times it just slowly and quietly fades away. Sometimes it'll hurt, sometimes it may even be a relief. But the fact that it's gone doesn't mean it wasn't love, and sometimes it just leads to a different sort of love. Breaking up with someone you love may just lead to a friendship sort of love, or maybe just affection. Things don't have to end with any mutual hatred or awkwardness.

I'm not much of a christian (okay, or at all..) but the one line I remember from the bible well is "God is Love". You are supposed to learn love from God, not hatred. Don't quote me on this, as I'm not some bible interpretation expert, but I think God would want you to love (or at least not hate) everyone. Don't hate people for their different views, lifestyles, etc. Instead, treat them as a human being, the way you would want to be treated. I'm not going to go into a God rant, that could get lengthy. I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, there's my opinion on what love is. Where is this coming from? My relationship with my boyfriend has not been going well over the past few weeks. So, does anyone have any advice on crumbling, unhappy relationships? I could use some.

xox Ashley

*This was a fabbity fab guest post by Ashley at The Usual Shenanigans. So CHECK HER BLOG OUT! Since this post is totally awesome and her blog is also totally awesome. SO GO AND BASK IN THE TOTALLY AWESOMENESS OF IT ALL!! :D And follow her. All of you. Please? :D You'll LOVE her. :D 'Cause she's awesome. It's a Nike moment so JUST DOOO IT. -Jodieee*
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2 run-on sentences.:

Hanis. said...

I like this one. It made me think of past relationships that all just pffft into thin air. What I can say is even now, when it still hurts once in a while, I know it was love. It just didn't turned out how I wanted it to be.

And perhaps, you should talk it out? Or in my case, I should have taken a long look at how things really are and not try to hold on. And ask yourself what you realllly want. It helps, I heard.

Jodie-Ann said...

Great ideas, Hanis! :D

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